The Ontarion | An understanding of human sexuality

In conversation with Dr. Robin Milhausen

Antik Dey

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To help address some of these questions, I spoke to Dr. Robin Milhausen, who co-hosted the TV show, Sex, Toys and Chocolate, and is currently a sexuality researcher at the University of Guelph. Milhausen enlightens us on topics such as libido, gender and sexuality, the health benefits of sex, and condom-use errors.

Introduce us to the TV show you co-hosted, Sex, Toys and Chocolate. What did you hope to accomplish?
The show was designed to show how the genders had different, and similar, perspectives on sexuality. Men and women were separated and talked to male host or female host (me) about a topic, anything from masturbation, to dating, to swinging, to sex toys, and more. Then we all came together to talk about the topic and had a mini-game for the genders to compete in. I hoped to be able to share academic research to the public with this show. For every episode I did a literature review on the topic and then found ways to integrate the latest and most accurate sexuality information into the show.

Is the media an useful outlet for sex education?
Most young people and older adults do not [attend] academic conferences or take university courses on sexuality. So the media is an important outlet for sex education. The challenge is finding good, accurate sexuality information in the media. Often newspapers, magazines, and websites put out the most sensational headlines and can misrepresent or misinterpret study findings. A great, reputable site for sexuality information is sexualityandu.ca.

Are there any differences between men and women in regards to how they approach sex?
Gender differences across many sexual attitudes and behaviours are narrowing. The one difference that is being maintained has to do with masturbation ? men still masturbate more, earlier and have more positive attitudes towards masturbation than women do.
Can sex be like a diet? Have too much of the same thing, and get bored of it? How can a couple work to keep their libido alive after many years together?

Couples tend to find what works (in terms of sex) and do it over and over again over the years and this can lead to boredom. Some people find increased intimacy that comes with a long term relationship to facilitate sexual connection and desire. But others find that, knowing each other too well and spending too much time together can lessen desire. It?s important for couples to talk about what they need in their sexual and romantic relationships (e.g., more closeness and intimacy or more distance and mystery) in order to keep the spark alive. Failing to communicate about this stuff can lead to one, or both, partners seeking sexual excitement outside of the relationship.
Does age have an impact on libido?
Studies generally show decreased sexual desire with age ? but not always. It most often has to do with physical health and having a relationship partner. Older persons who are in good health and have a relationship partner generally have strong desire and sexual satisfaction. If health is suffering, or the person has lost their partner (to divorce, illness, or death, for example) they are likely to be less sexually satisfied.
How can lifestyle influence libido? What improves libido vs. what dampens it?
My dissertation research suggested that there are over 300 factors which can impact sexual desire positively and negatively ? so it?s complicated. Interestingly, women are more likely to be influenced by the desire dampeners (e.g., stress, relationship conflict) than are men, and men are more likely to be influenced by the desire enhancers (e.g., a naked partner, or pornography) than are women. Physical exercise and fitness facilitates desire for both sexes though.
What can cause sexual dysfunction?
A huge range of things?. The first factors we try to rule out are medical ones, for example, hormone levels, blood flow etc. The next most common causes are psychological (e.g., what attitudes do you hold about sex, insecurities, lack of sexual knowledge) and relational (e.g., how connected do you feel to your partner, is your relationship conflicted).
It has been reported that some men tend to lose their erection upon wearing a condom. What could be the reason? What strategies can you offer to those men?
Some men do have condom associated erection loss. For some men, this is because the condom reduces sensation. For others, it?s the act of putting on the condom which leads to erection loss. Men and their partners can try to keep the condom application process exciting by getting their partner involved with putting the condom on, and by practicing the skill of putting it on so that they do so quickly. Men can also try different kinds of condoms. Trojan has a new condom which is baggy along the sides so that it slides on the penis during sex and helps to facilitate sensation. This is a really great new invention in safer sex. It?s called the Trojan Naked Sensations condom.
Should sex be part of a healthy lifestyle? Are there any health benefits?
There is a lot of research supporting the health benefits of sex, including psychological, emotional, and physical health. There was even a study which showed among older men, more frequent orgasms was associated with less likelihood of dying! [Therefore], as long as a person is going into a sexual relationship with knowledge and feels comfortable with their partner and wants to be having sex, there can be many benefits to sex. The key is educating yourself so that you are able to have sex safely and pleasurably, and building your confidence so you can say, yes, to sex when you are ready and interested, and, no, to sex when you are not ready and not interested.

Source: http://www.theontarion.com/2011/09/an-understanding-of-human-sexuality-2/

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